You Sure Are A Lot Uglier In Person
Inside Counsel Magazine has a humor feature called Strange Suits. Each month they send me summaries of four oddball lawsuits. I sketch out ideas, the editors pick the one they like best.
And the winner is: Subcribers are suing an online matchmaking company, claiming many of the site’s profiles are inactive or fake. They claim the bogus profiles are used
as bait to get people to join and pay a monthly subscription fee. Scroll down to see the sketches for all four cases.
IHOP, the International House of Pancakes, decided to drop a suit against the International House of Prayer, a church using the same acronym: IHOP. The pancake house had originally claimed trademark infringement, and argued that
the public might associate the pancake house with a particular faith.
A suit involving rival kitty litter manufacturers. An ad campaign claimed that cats prefer one brand to the other. Arm & Hammer is arguing that Clorox’s independent study– which involved cats choosing between two litter boxes– was flawed.
Congressman Dennis Kucinich is suing a Congressional cafeteria over a “dangerous” sandwich wrap it sold him in 2008. Kucinich is suing for $150,000, and claims the sandwich contained unpitted olives which caused dental injuries, pain and suffering. 
And here’s the original sketch for the matchmaking site with the phony profiles:
Mark Armstrong Illustration Specializing In Content Marketing Advertising Editorial Infographics Animation Videos and Social Media 
Your sketches are real comments. Enjoyed.
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Thanks very much– really appreciate your stopping by!
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These are great! I once found a pit in a Lean Cuisine entree that had olives in it. I took a pic of it because I thought I should but didn’t do anything about it. Who knows, maybe that could have been my (insert count Dracula voice here) one million dollar law suit? Mooo haaahaaa!
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I’ve never received a comment in a, er, Countess Dracula voice. It was pretty scary, but… thoroughly enjoyable! And I’m very glad you weren’t injured by The Pit From The Lean Cuisine– which sounds like a true horror!! Many thanks for your good-humored visit.
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You haven’t??? Doesn’t everyone do that? 🙂
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Alas, very few people post comments in vampire voce. It’s a rather, er, cryptic talent, possessed by only the special few. So take a bow– moooo hahaaaa!
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I love your site….the pictures are great – Thank you!
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You are entirely too kind– but I mustn’t protest too much… : ) I’m very happy you stopped by– thank you!
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Oh you Americans….. life would be only half as fun without all the suing….
I would be interested in how the kitties got lured into choosing Clorox’s kitty litter….poop here get a treat?
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Yes, why do Americans keep suing each other?? We need a new hobby, that’s clear… : ) Your theory about the litter box competition sounds all too plausible– and very funny! Many thanks for stopping by.
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I like the matching profile lawsuit the best and it is true.
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They say the truth is often spoken in jest– I guess that’s why we laugh… : ) Many thanks for your kind comment.
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Excellent illustration and writing!
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You’re extremely kind, Josh, and I thank you very much for stopping by– cheers!
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hahahahahahaha.. dat was hi-llllllllllll-arious!
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I love “hearing” people laugh– even in writing! Many thanks for your good-humored support!
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Listen, my cats, Pedro and Evita, are willing to testify that in fact one kitty litter is better then the other (to protect themselves they will not identify which kitty litter is better.) My cats are remaining quiet on IHOP issue because I think they too are using that acronym (International House of Pussy). As far as Congressman, the cats he is full of pit. Loved your sketches!
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Just knowing there are two cats out there named Pedro and Evita is making me smile… : ) Clearly they are felines with strong opinions. Many thanks for your kind and good-humored support!
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I love your site!
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Coming from a spirited humorist like yourself, that’s a high compliment– thanks a heap, blog on!!
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Ha! Pretty funny. Did you do the comics yourself?
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Yes, I’m afraid I must take full responsibility for the comics– please don’t take me to court!! : ) Many thanks for stopping by.
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You’re brilliant with these sketches! I had a good laugh. K
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Now, now, you mustn’t encourage me. Wait, what am I saying– of course you must!! : ) Very glad you enjoyed the sketches, thanks so much for your kind comment.
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Ridiculous lawsuits are ridiculous! But that’s the American way I suppose. I think the Dating website case could hold up, if they have proof the company put up the fake profiles, instead of subscribers lying about their looks.
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Yes, it sounds like a tricky case– let’s hope no one hauls me into court to testify… : ) Many thanks for stopping by.
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Well written Write-up. Glad i am able to locate a site with some knowledge plus a great writing style.
You keep publishing and i will continue to Keep browsing
Thanks Again
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Blush, blush! Thank you very much indeed for your kind comments. I’m glad you enjoyed your visit, and I hope I shall have the pleasure of your company again… : )
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Some of these lawsuites are crazy. Thanks for sharing the cartoons.
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Yes, there never seems to be a shortage of bizarre lawsuits– which is lucky for me, of course… : ) Thanks so much for stopping by.
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Great stories, and the twist you put on the winning picture is phenomenal. The look on the judge’s face really sells it. 😀 Very nice work, and congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
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Ah, Tim, you’re too kind– thanks so much. Yes, that look of chagrin– I’ve had it many times myself! Being Freshly Pressed came as a complete shock– the best part is, I’ve gotten to meet so many great people. Cheers!
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really like it
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That means a lot– thank you! Really appreciate your stopping by.
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rofl awesome cartoons 🙂
We sure have seen a lot of those sites around
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Yes, we need fewer matchmaking sites, and more cartoon sites– that’s my completely unbiased opinion… : ) Glad you enjoyed the sketches, thanks a lot for stopping by.
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Truth is always stranger than fiction.
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Yes, you can’t make this stuff up, as they say– thanks for stopping by!
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awesome!
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Careful now, you’ll be giving me a swelled head. Oops, too late… : ) Many thanks for your enthusiastic support!
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this is hilarious… i love it.
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Ah, you’ve given me a warm feeling– and that’s not so easy to do in New Hampshire on a cold winter night in February!! : ) Many thanks for stopping by.
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Hilarious. Every single one of those are dead on. My favorite has to be Clorox v. Arm and Hammer, maybe because I have a cat too?
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Thank you very much indeed. Yes, cat ownership may have given you a slight bias, but it can’t be helped… : ) Thanks for stopping by!
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so nice sketch….
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Your kind support is very much appreciated– thank you!
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Thank you for sharing the four drafts! Also, since they are suing over what seems like weird cases, maybe it’s time they got a little publicity, no? 😀
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Publicity– uh-oh, you’re right. I shouldn’t encourage them… : ) Many thanks for your good-humored comment!
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What great stuff! Your style is clean, simple, and expressive. Those are classic traits that a lot of today’s artists seem to forget about while developing their hyperuse of crosshatching. And above all, you know how to tell a story in a single panel.
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Blush, blush, I feel something burning, I think it’s my smiling face! Thank you for your very kind comments, I shall struggle to live up to them… : )
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Your illustrations are brilliant. Every time I memorise a case I try to do a drawing. Sadly, my artistry isn’t on the same level as yours. Even if it were, the cases aren’t really that interesting!
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I’m sure you’re being entirely too modest. I like to think all drawing is a worthy effort, and a step in the right direction. Hope you’ll keep at it. Many thanks for your kind support!
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Why are you trying to memorize cases? Although I use to make up little dittys to remember legal princples like res ipsa locquitor. Anyway the illustrations are top notch. Any chance of setting some of them to music?
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Memorize cases? I can hardly remember my passwords… : ) Res Ipsa Locquitor? Sounds like a sure #1 that would, um, speak for itself… : ) The only illustration I’ve set to music is this group caricature of the Dave Clark 5. Just scroll down to the third image and hit the Play button. Thanks a lot for stopping by!
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Ha, these make me laugh. Oh, what us Americans will do for money.
Love your artwork. Even not knowing the backstory of the cases, it would be easy to surmise what’d happened. Great job and congrats on FP’d! 🙂
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Ha! I never thought I’d be FP’d… : ) I feel like I should be walking down the street wearing a big orange juice carton! Thank you so much for your very kind comments.
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Better FP’d than OJ’d 🙂
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I’ll drink to that– and thanks for squeezing an extra laugh out of our exchange! : )
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Ah, you’re so punny. =)
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I like the one about IHOP. Everybody gets pancakes!
I’m subscribing to your blog because I like things that make me smile and laugh, and you give out tips, too. I wonder if men realize how sexy a lot of women think a sense of humor is?
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Women think a sense of humor is sexy? I’m glad you told me– I’m going to come out of my corner where I’ve been sitting behind the potted plant… : ) Thanks so much for subscribing– I shall do my best to keep you smiling.
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I’m suing you for making me feel bad because I can’t draw.
And because Mom always liked you better.
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Mom always liked me best? I think you’re channeling Tommy Smothers! Thanks for stopping by and making me laugh.
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hi Mark,
Keep Writing and sketching this is wonderful site to stop by LEARN and LAUGH.
best,
Avi
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Thank you very much, Avi– I sincerely appreciate your kind support!
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I once found a pit in my TV dinner– boy am I glad I didn’t find a pendulum.
But in all seriousness, I enjoyed the humor in your post. The cartoons require no caption; a trait few cartoonist do not possess.
—Aaron
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Pit, pendulum– I can see yours is a very Poetic nature… : ) Thanks so much for your support and very kind comments.
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Aha so what you trying to say is that american society has become based on an single idea, an idea where “sometimes you just gotta say… wtf” is at the core; and the outcome is, naiveness and obscurity. In the sense that petty things, vanity, social stature, social acceptance and who can make the quickest buck, screwing people over flourish and people are no longer real because the true nature of realism in the general populous is the minority, and the pop culture that has become america is worried about their own individual wants, not their needs or the needs of anybody else as a whole. Individualism with the illusion of freedom so in return we are a country of sheep, just following the herd, being comfortable but unaware of our broken society, broken american culture, which is tainted and unrealistic.
“When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man’s concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses, for art establishes the basic human truths which must serve as the touchstone of our judgement.” JFK
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I had no idea I was saying all that– I’m gonna have to go look at those sketches again… : ) Many thanks for stopping by.
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As someone who has used online dating services in the past, I believe there is a bait and switch mentality going on, or that some of the “profiles” aren’t real. How else can I explain lack of responses? lol
Thanks for the post and congrats on being freshly pressed!
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Someone as witty as yourself deserves a phenomenal response– never doubt it. Thanks for your very gracious and good-humored comments!
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This is funny. A little adjustment on the pictures and it tells a whole different story
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Glad you enjoyed the sketches, and thanks very much for your kind comment!
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Lovely sketches. Though all in the courtroom scenarios – would have preferred some variety.
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Point taken. Early on, I tried different settings, including those completely outside a courtroom. However, the editors have always preferred a courtroom scenario, and over time it’s become the standard for the feature. Many thanks for stopping by.
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Wow. Excellent idea. The way you discuss the four problem of the societies.
The pictures for depicting the ideas are awesome. Especially the dental surgery one 🙂
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I appreciate your kind comments very much– thank you for stopping by!
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Haha !! awesome!
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I appreciate your enthusiasm– thanks so much for stopping by!
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Great stuff!
I did some internet dating: in fact, met my wife that way, but I did meet a fair number of mis-reresentations as well . . .
The very idea of ‘rival kitty litter manufacturers. ‘ made me smile!
My favourite lawsuit was when Philip Glass sued Audi for using a piece of music for a TV commercial, taken from one of Glass’ works. The judge rejected the claim on the basis that he couldn’t see that the music of Philip Glass had anything notable or distinctive about it . . .
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Glad to hear your internet dating experience ended on a happy note. Your Philip Glass anecdote made me laugh. Some judges really know how to hurt a guy… : ) Many thanks for your good-humored comments.
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Mark Loved the blog!! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed, well deserved.
I love cartoons. I have an animated cartoon that I do every Saturday on my blog, I use xtranormal, so I don’t have any original drawings on there, but maybe you can draw me singing or something…..I would like that .
Thanks again for the very fun blog read today. I like!
Blessings,
Ava
xox
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Thanks so much, Ava, I really appreciate your kind comments. Your blog sounds intriguing, I shall take a look. Wishing you all the best!
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Your sketches are so amazing. They are so descriptive, no text was required to get what was being said in the sketches.
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Now, now, you mustn’t encourage me, I’ll only draw up more foolishness… : ) Thanks so much for your kindness and support!
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very inspiring and well thought!
nice illustration as well ! i guess it was from such as great sense of humour that the truth behind the sketches was not so bitter to swallow but fun to accept and work on to make the world a better place…
Keep it up! really love it^_^
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What a lovely compliment, thank you. There’s a place for satire and biting humor, but I think the best (healthiest) laughter comes when we laugh at ourselves (universal human foibles) rather than at other people. I fear you’re giving me too much credit, but I shall try to live up to your very kind assessment.
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hahaha PERPECT! ‘ love it!
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Ah, it’s always great to “hear” the sound of laughter– even in writing… : ) Thank you very much for your kind comment!
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this is so humorous and funny!
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Thank you so much for your kind comment– I sincerely appreciate your stopping by!
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haha, very nice
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I’m so very glad you enjoyed the sketches– thank you for stopping by!
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Great sketches. The idea is also fun and brilliant.
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Those are the kind of compliments that can go to an illustrator’s head. Good thing I’m willing to live dangerously… : ) Thanks very much for your kind support!
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Many thanks for the many thanks. I appreciate your illustrations, but most of all I appreciate the many thanks, thank you.
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You’re very welcome. And, uh… many thanks! : )
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i am subscribed to “freshly pressed”. Now guess where i find this blog? Your illustrations are awesome. I wish the local newsletter in Ethiopia has humor feature called strange suits, which will probably be empty week after week. The lawsuits in here are as fun as in America anyway. But you are absolutely right: Humor multiplies its power 🙂
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After reading your comment, I shall always think of Ethiopia as a place where humor is alive and well– because you, my friend, are living there. Thank you for your kind comment, and for helping to multiply the humor here at my blog! : )
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Great pictures! You are quite the artist. Keep up the good work!
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Keep up the good work… I shall certainly do my best, thanks to your very kind encouragement. I sincerely appreciate your support!
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Good stuff! The title is catchy 🙂
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That’s a pretty catchy title you’ve got there yourself!! : ) Thanks a lot for stopping by!
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this is absolutely hilarious and i love the twist in the tale in the last picture!
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Your kind support and enthusiasm have hurled across the Atlantic and been gratefully received here in New Hampshire– many thanks!
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As someone who has dated online, all I can say is: I know that guy in your picture!!! The one on the right, definitely not the left…
Great illustrations. Thank you for sharing — can’t wait to poke around your site a bit more! 🙂
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Yes, why is it always the guy on the right who shows up?? Mr. Right is never the guy on the right! : ) Thanks for your kind comment and good humor– the welcome mat is always out for you here!
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I love your illustrations… they’re great, and they all make excellent points. Thanks for sharing!
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You’re very welcome. Glad you enjoyed the sketches, and thanks very much for your kind and supportive comment!
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Enjoyed your drawings, loved the one with the judge spitting out pits. Congrats on being freshly pressed.
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Spitting out pits– let’s hope it doesn’t become a new craze! : ) I sincerely appreciate getting your lovely note from Rumbley Cottage– thank you!
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This is fantastic. The messages in all of your comic sketches are spoken straight away as soon as you see them. I really enjoyed the matchmaking one, definitely brought a big smile to my face.
It’s also great to see black and white sketches, it’s a rare sight most of the time unless you’re looking at newspapers.
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I enjoy the chance to work in B&W that this feature gives me. I’ve always liked the classic pen and ink wash look of “golden age” magazine cartoons. Like old films, they seem to have a kind of power one can’t capture with color. Thanks for your very kind comments, I sincerely appreciate your support!
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Wow! I’m always amazed when someone can put ideas onto paper in the way that you do. Much as a baker makes an amazing cake, but you don’t have a recipe! I’m truly impressed! Are you syndicated? Your cartoons should be in newspapers across the land! Peace, T.
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After reading your comment, I’ve decided to wear a chef’s hat while I work… : ) Must confess, not all my recipes work– I’ve had many cakes that fell flat! Never had any luck with syndication, sad to say, but bolstered by your enthusiastic support, I shall press on… : ) Thanks so much for your lovely comment.
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You’ve got talent and you made me laugh on this cold, dark winter’s day. Thanks for sharing your talent with us!
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Yes, one gets tired of shivering with the cold. Good to shake with laughter now and then– helps one’s circulation… : ) Thanks for your kind comment, very glad you stopped by!
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Great sketches! I like the dating website one, with the profiles matching the judge!
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Yes, that judge was very naughty, and he ought to be “benched.” Oh wait, he’s a judge, he’s already sitting on the bench… : ) Thank you very much for your kind comment!
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Very funny, and creative. 😉
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Glad you enjoyed the sketches. Many thanks for your kind comment, I’m very glad you stopped by! : )
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Congrats. on being freshly pressed since you and I are fans, readers of another blog for bloggers. 🙂
Hope you’ll get more client work as a result of this. It’s fun to do satirical pieces for legal world. I’m sure it provides them small moments of levity.
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Thanks, Jean. Yes, recognized you straight away as a fellow TT fan. Getting “pressed” has been quite an experience. Wonderful to think there are so many kind and supportive people out in cyberspace– you being an obvious example! : ) Keep cycling, and thanks so much for your kindness and encouragement.
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Very funny. I was on a matchmaker site many years ago and one guy posted a photo of himself 10 years younger and 100 pounds lighter. lol
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Hmm… sounds like there’s really no need for matchmaker sites to post bogus photos– subscribers can handle that part themselves! : ) Many thanks for your good-humored comment.
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I really enjoyed reading your site. You inspire me a lot on the technique and content.
I just start off a comic/ art blog. You encourage me to work harder and set you as my goal.
Thanks sharing
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Thank you for your very kind comment. I’m flattered. I’m glad you found the site helpful, you are always very welcome here. It’s hard getting started, but don’t get discouraged. One step at a time. –or should I say one sketch at a time? : ) Good luck, and thanks for stopping by!
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great stuff, keep it up
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I shall do my best, many thanks for the kind words and encouragement!
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Hilarious!! Only when i came to the us, did i truly understand what the suing culture is all about and the cartoons highlight it perfectly!!
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The Suing Culture… yes, welcome to America! Perhaps we should replace the Statue of Liberty with a Statue of Litigation– she could be holding a big gavel instead of a torch… say, that sounds like a good idea for a cartoon! : ) Many thanks for your kind comment.
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Thanks for the laughs! Excellent material. Congrats on the FP!
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Very happy you enjoyed the post. Many thanks for your kind comment and cheery support! : )
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you drawings are pretty. i wish i could draw like you!
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You’re very kind, thank you. Do you draw yourself, then? FWIW: When I look at drawings of mine from years ago, I feel embarrassed. They seem very crude and unsophisticated. But I can see now that it was a stage I needed to work thru. If you draw, keep at it, and remind yourself that you are “on the path.” Cheers and many thanks for stopping by!
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I love your cartoons. They are an art form used to express many different opinions, attitudes, etc. and often smack of satire. My own cartoons are always satirical with hints of humor.
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Well said, Joe. It’s always a pleasure for me to meet a fellow cartoonist. Let’s face it: the world needs our special humor!! : ) All the best, and many thanks for stopping by!
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i love ur sketches!! 🙂
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u r 2 kind, and the name Little Miss Trouble puts a Little Big Smile on my face… : ) Thanks for your kind support!!
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