Do You Swear To Draw The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nuthin’ But The Truth? Well, Not Exactly, Yer Honor…
Do you like goofy courtroom-cloggers, aka, lawsuits? Well then, you’ve come to the right place.
Every month, Inside Counsel Magazine sends me four items for their Strange Suits humor feature. I sketch out an idea for each one, they pick the one they like best. Here
are the winners and also-rans for the last two issues:
The 1980s rock band Survivor sued Republican politician and candidate for President, Newt Gingrich. Why? For using their 1982 hit, Eye Of The Tiger, at campaign rallies without permission. Hardly a first– the band sued John McCain back in 2008 for using the very same song. There have, in fact, been many similar cases, all but one involving liberal rockers suing conservative politicians. The one exception that received very little press: Sam Moore sued the Obama campaign in 2008 for using the Sam & Dave hit Hold On, I’m Comin’ without permission.
Here’s Newt enjoying some tiger rock:
Pop star Justin Bieber recently sued game maker RC3 for creating an iTunes app called Joustin’ Beaver, which features a cartoon animal modeled on the singer. The company responded by suing Bieber, saying their game is a parody, and as such, enjoys legal protection.
I tried to imagine what might happen if a beaver took the witness stand:
Here are the rough sketches for the cases that weren’t selected:
A homeless man sued rapper Eminem for $9 million for allegedly stealing his idea for
a Super Bowl commercial. The plaintiff claims he was having dinner with Christina Aguilera, who let him use her phone to discuss his idea with Eminem.
Joe Francis, the “entrepreneur” behind the Girls Gone Wild videos in which young women flash their breasts, threatened to sue Madonna if she sang a song called Girls Gone Wild during her Super Bowl halftime show. Francis claimed that performing the song would amount to a trademark violation. I had a vision of a slick huckster trying to buy flashes from a female jury member while Madonna fumed in the witness box.
A man sued snack manufacturer Frito-Lay, claiming the company was not telling the truth about certain products being made with “all-natural ingredients.” He claims he
paid an extra 10 cents per ounce for all-natural chips, only to discover they contained ingredients from genetically-engineered plants.
Brand Sense Partners sued pop diva Britney Spears, claiming it helped her secure
a perfume deal, and that she subsequently failed to pay them a percentage of the profits. Spears agreed to pay an undisclosed sum to settle the suit.
A man sued former major league baseball star George Brett over a necklace. Brett is associated with a line of “ionic necklaces,” whose titanium ions are supposed to sharpen the wearer’s focus and improve their sports performance. The man says the $30 necklace failed to make him a better athlete.
A woman faces multiple fraud and theft charges for selling phony Facebook stock. She told buyers that she was able to acquire $1 million worth of the stock because her daughter was friends with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.
Here’s the original Eye Of The Tiger sketch:
And the original Bieber-Beaver sketch:
What do you think?
Can one find better joke material than celebrity name products? Is the insanity in cartoon courtrooms really that much different than the insanity in real courtrooms? Hope you’ll leave a comment.
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Other Posts You Might Enjoy:
Pennies From Heaven: Attack Of The Tweety Boids
A Blog Named Sue: More Lawsuits
Always entertaining and enlightening. Never get tired of learning all I can from you Mark. Joustin’ Beaver??? I like the pupils in the eye of the tiger notes especially!!!
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Joustin’ Beaver… lotta dam foolishness, you ask me… : )
I was hoping someone would notice those pupils– good eye!! (so to speak)
Thanks, Tracey!
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Mark, these are wonderful. I especially like Brittiany Spears stinking up the place and somebody calling 911 and Newt and his victory signs! You got Newt down perfect – smugness and all!
I remember years ago when Cher came out with a perfume called Abandon! I bet you could have a field day with that one. I’m picturing a boat where Cher gets on wearing Abandon and everybody jumps over the side.
And the necklace lawsuit! Crazy. How does it even occur to someone to go to all that trouble over a $30 necklace? I have to wonder how they were planning to go about proving that the necklace didn’t work? Totally Crazy People! 🙂
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Ha! Yeah, celebrity perfumes– I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve poked a few holes in the ozone layer!
Funny story: Back in my workin’-after-school-at-the-drug-store-days, I was exposed to men’s cologne for the first time. The James Bond movies were just taking off, and some enterprising manufacturer came out with 007 Cologne. There was a large sample dispenser, and I’d apply some to myself every time I came in. Talk about a young idiot having a license to kill!! : (
Well, time to go put on my ionic necklace– it reduces fatigue when I draw… : P
Thanks, Linda!
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Ha ha! That’s funny! A llicense to kill as well as a license to smell. The best of both world’s! I would get me a ionic necklace to reduce fatigue when I draw, but I think I draw better when i’m fatigued!
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I haven’t seen these drawings of yours in quite a while! Good to see you still do them =]
The ones picked out are definitely the best. But they all certainly bring a giggle’s worth of amusement. My favourite has to be the Beaver/Bieber one ^^
Great stuff as always!
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Thanks so much for that exquisite review, Dear Fox– you’ve got me slapping my beaver tail with happiness here!! : )
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What part of song copyright do people not understand!
You certainly have an interesting career – it must be fun to draw all these weird and wonderful court room dramas!
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Yes, little wonder no one pays any attention to copyright law– we’re all just modeling the behavior of our so-called leaders…
I guess it takes a weird and wonderful person to document these weird and wonderful cases. Good thing I’m available… : )
Thanks, Margie!
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Great illustrations. The internet sure caused a boondoggle with copyright violations, and sometimes I wish I could spend all day handing out educational pamphlets in grocery stores explaining to people which terms are regulated by law (“organic”) versus those that are meaningless (“natural”) and ones that mean something (compostable) vs nothing (biodegradeable).
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I’m going to think of you the next time I run into somebody handing out flyers, and I promise to take one if I’m carrying four or less grocery bags… : )
Good to see you, Amelie, thanks a lot for stopping by!
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Hi Mark,
I like these so much that I stumbled the post and tweeted it too.
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Ah, they don’t call you The Paragon Of Kindness for nothing. Well, that’s what I call you anyway… : )
Makes me very happy to know you enjoyed the post, TT. And thanks, as ever, for your thoughtfulness and support. : )
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I worked for the judges for one of the Canadian provincial court systems. It is a world unto itself.
One story which shouldn’t tarnish anyone’s reputation is that we had heard a cantakerous judge was presiding over a court case when one the lawyers stood up to present her client’s case. He asked her to leave….because her orange dress skirt and jacket were too bright!
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Hmm… I notice you’re wearing an orange top in your gravatar picture. I’m wondering now if that is more than just a coincidence… : )
Just kidding, Jean. Great story. I’m not sure how good courts are at producing justice, but it appears they’re hard to beat when it comes to producing perversely funny anecdotes.
Thanks for the comment, and, as always, for stopping by! : )
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Uh…I never thought of that coincidence when I conveyed the story! I would not make a good lawyer or investigator. 😀
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Don’t know about that, but you certainly make an excellent cyclist, blogger, and good-humored commenter!! : )
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I was a law librarian for 8 yrs. of my career.
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That’s enough to make anyone hop on a bicycle and ride like the wind!! : )
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Ah wonderful Mark! You make being in court look like so much fun, I wish they’d call me up for Jury duty now…or maybe I can get myself arrested somehow??…umm….thank you for entertaining me as always. You are a very witty gentleman 🙂
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Hmm… if you keep walking down the street with those wild painted faces, you’re gonna be arrested for disturbing the peace!!
(Please let me know when this happens, because I think it would make an outstanding Strange Suit cartoon… : )
Many thanks for your very kind comment, always lovely to have you and your fiercely painted eye make the scene!
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The pleasure’s all mine 🙂
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OMG! I had been trying to post comment here past few days but only until now I succeeded! So the moment has gone now, LOL.
I really like this your work, Mark! I couldn’t stop laughing though my difficulty on posting comment here had put me off, LOL.
Hilarious!
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It’s never too late (= the moment has never gone) for me to appreciate the kindness of one of my favorite photographers!! : )
Thank you, dear Inge. I’m very sorry you’ve had some difficulty posting comments, but you have now succeeded and put a big smile on my handsome face… : )
Very glad the post gave you a good laugh, and thanks so much for your cheery support!!
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