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Do You Swear To Draw The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nuthin’ But The Truth? Well, Not Exactly, Yer Honor…

March 13, 2012

Do you like goofy courtroom-cloggers, aka, lawsuits? Well then, you’ve come to the right place.blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Every month, Inside Counsel Magazine sends me four items for their Strange Suits humor feature. I sketch out an idea for each one, they pick the one they like best. Here
are the winners and also-rans for the last two issues:blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

The 1980s rock band Survivor sued Republican politician and candidate for President, Newt Gingrich. Why? For using their 1982 hit, Eye Of The Tiger, at campaign rallies without permission. Hardly a first– the band sued John McCain back in 2008 for using the very same song. There have, in fact, been many similar cases, all but one involving liberal rockers suing conservative politicians. The one exception that received very little press: Sam Moore sued the Obama campaign in 2008 for using the Sam & Dave hit Hold On, I’m Comin’ without permission.

Here’s Newt enjoying some tiger rock:

cartoon with tigers playing in rock band in courtroom jury box for joke about a lawsuit where rock group Survivor sued politician Newt Gingrich for using their old hit song Eye Of The Tiger at campaign rallies without permission

Pop star Justin Bieber recently sued game maker RC3 for creating an iTunes app called Joustin’ Beaver, which features a cartoon animal modeled on the singer. The company responded by suing Bieber, saying their game is a parody, and as such, enjoys legal protection.

I tried to imagine what might happen if a beaver took the witness stand:

cartoon about lawsuit where game company RC3 and pop singer Justin Bieber are suing each other because of company's Joustin' Beaver app which features animal that resembles Bieber

Here are the rough sketches for the cases that weren’t selected:blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

A homeless man sued rapper Eminem for $9 million for allegedly stealing his idea for
a Super Bowl commercial. The plaintiff claims he was having dinner with Christina Aguilera, who let him use her phone to discuss his idea with Eminem.

cartoon about homeless man suing rap star Eminem for stealing his idea for a Super Bowl commercial; homeless man says singer Christina Aguilera let him use her phone to talk to Eminem

Joe Francis, the “entrepreneur” behind the Girls Gone Wild videos in which young women flash their breasts, threatened to sue Madonna if she sang a song called Girls Gone Wild during her Super Bowl halftime show. Francis claimed that performing the song would amount to a trademark violation. I had a vision of a slick huckster trying to buy flashes from a female jury member while Madonna fumed in the witness box. cartoon about man who makes the naughty Girls Gone Wild videos where young woman expose their breasts and how he threatened Madonna with legal action if she sang song called Girls Gone Wild at Super Bowl halftime show

A man sued snack manufacturer Frito-Lay, claiming the company was not telling the truth about certain products being made with “all-natural ingredients.” He claims he
paid an extra 10 cents per ounce for all-natural chips, only to discover they contained ingredients from genetically-engineered plants.cartoon about man who sued snack manufacturer Frito-Lay for saying their products Tostitos and SunChips are made from all-natural ingredients; plaintiff says those snacks contain oils made from genetically engineered plants

Brand Sense Partners sued pop diva Britney Spears, claiming it helped her secure
a perfume deal, and that she subsequently failed to pay them a percentage of the profits. Spears agreed to pay an undisclosed sum to settle the suit.

cartoon about company which helped Britney Spears get perfume deal with Elizabeth Arden; company now suing singer Spears saying she broke promise to give company 35% of her profits from new perfume

A man sued former major league baseball star George Brett over a necklace. Brett is associated with a line of “ionic necklaces,” whose titanium ions are supposed to sharpen the wearer’s focus and improve their sports performance. The man says the $30 necklace failed to make him a better athlete.cartoon about man who is suing former baseball player George Brett's company which markets titanium ionic necklaces which are supposed to improve wearer's sports performance; man says necklace did not work for him as advertised

A woman faces multiple fraud and theft charges for selling phony Facebook stock. She told buyers that she was able to acquire $1 million worth of the stock because her daughter was friends with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.cartoon about lawsuit involving woman who sold fake Facebook stock; woman told buyers her daughter was a friend of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg

Here’s the original Eye Of The Tiger sketch:cartoon with tigers playing in rock band in courtroom jury box for joke about a lawsuit where rock group Survivor sued politician Newt Gingrich for using their old hit song Eye Of The Tiger at campaign rallies without permission

And the original Bieber-Beaver sketch:cartoon about lawsuit where game company RC3 and pop singer Justin Bieber are suing each other because of company's Joustin' Beaver app which features animal that resembles Bieber

What do you think?

Can one find better joke material than celebrity name products? Is the insanity in cartoon courtrooms really that much different than the insanity in real courtrooms? Hope you’ll leave a comment.blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

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Other Posts You Might Enjoy:

Pennies From Heaven: Attack Of The Tweety Boids

A Blog Named Sue: More Lawsuits

Bicycle Assassin: You’re Never Too Young To Get Sued

footer for all future blog posts showing picture of blog author Mark Armstrong, along with short bio and contact information

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24 Comments leave one →
  1. March 13, 2012 11:50 AM

    Always entertaining and enlightening. Never get tired of learning all I can from you Mark. Joustin’ Beaver??? I like the pupils in the eye of the tiger notes especially!!!


    • March 14, 2012 9:26 AM

      Joustin’ Beaver… lotta dam foolishness, you ask me… : )

      I was hoping someone would notice those pupils– good eye!! (so to speak)

      Thanks, Tracey!


  2. March 13, 2012 11:56 AM

    Mark, these are wonderful. I especially like Brittiany Spears stinking up the place and somebody calling 911 and Newt and his victory signs! You got Newt down perfect – smugness and all!

    I remember years ago when Cher came out with a perfume called Abandon! I bet you could have a field day with that one. I’m picturing a boat where Cher gets on wearing Abandon and everybody jumps over the side.

    And the necklace lawsuit! Crazy. How does it even occur to someone to go to all that trouble over a $30 necklace? I have to wonder how they were planning to go about proving that the necklace didn’t work? Totally Crazy People! 🙂


    • March 14, 2012 9:34 AM

      Ha! Yeah, celebrity perfumes– I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve poked a few holes in the ozone layer!

      Funny story: Back in my workin’-after-school-at-the-drug-store-days, I was exposed to men’s cologne for the first time. The James Bond movies were just taking off, and some enterprising manufacturer came out with 007 Cologne. There was a large sample dispenser, and I’d apply some to myself every time I came in. Talk about a young idiot having a license to kill!! : (

      Well, time to go put on my ionic necklace– it reduces fatigue when I draw… : P

      Thanks, Linda!


      • March 14, 2012 11:31 AM

        Ha ha! That’s funny! A llicense to kill as well as a license to smell. The best of both world’s! I would get me a ionic necklace to reduce fatigue when I draw, but I think I draw better when i’m fatigued!


  3. March 13, 2012 1:43 PM

    I haven’t seen these drawings of yours in quite a while! Good to see you still do them =]

    The ones picked out are definitely the best. But they all certainly bring a giggle’s worth of amusement. My favourite has to be the Beaver/Bieber one ^^

    Great stuff as always!


    • March 14, 2012 9:35 AM

      Thanks so much for that exquisite review, Dear Fox– you’ve got me slapping my beaver tail with happiness here!! : )


  4. Margie permalink
    March 13, 2012 5:16 PM

    What part of song copyright do people not understand!
    You certainly have an interesting career – it must be fun to draw all these weird and wonderful court room dramas!


    • March 14, 2012 9:41 AM

      Yes, little wonder no one pays any attention to copyright law– we’re all just modeling the behavior of our so-called leaders…

      I guess it takes a weird and wonderful person to document these weird and wonderful cases. Good thing I’m available… : )

      Thanks, Margie!


  5. March 14, 2012 3:38 PM

    Great illustrations. The internet sure caused a boondoggle with copyright violations, and sometimes I wish I could spend all day handing out educational pamphlets in grocery stores explaining to people which terms are regulated by law (“organic”) versus those that are meaningless (“natural”) and ones that mean something (compostable) vs nothing (biodegradeable).


    • March 15, 2012 7:29 AM

      I’m going to think of you the next time I run into somebody handing out flyers, and I promise to take one if I’m carrying four or less grocery bags… : )

      Good to see you, Amelie, thanks a lot for stopping by!


  6. March 15, 2012 10:54 PM

    Hi Mark,
    I like these so much that I stumbled the post and tweeted it too.


    • March 16, 2012 9:33 AM

      Ah, they don’t call you The Paragon Of Kindness for nothing. Well, that’s what I call you anyway… : )

      Makes me very happy to know you enjoyed the post, TT. And thanks, as ever, for your thoughtfulness and support. : )


  7. March 17, 2012 9:40 AM

    I worked for the judges for one of the Canadian provincial court systems. It is a world unto itself.

    One story which shouldn’t tarnish anyone’s reputation is that we had heard a cantakerous judge was presiding over a court case when one the lawyers stood up to present her client’s case. He asked her to leave….because her orange dress skirt and jacket were too bright!


    • March 17, 2012 7:43 PM

      Hmm… I notice you’re wearing an orange top in your gravatar picture. I’m wondering now if that is more than just a coincidence… : )

      Just kidding, Jean. Great story. I’m not sure how good courts are at producing justice, but it appears they’re hard to beat when it comes to producing perversely funny anecdotes.

      Thanks for the comment, and, as always, for stopping by! : )


      • March 17, 2012 7:48 PM

        Uh…I never thought of that coincidence when I conveyed the story! I would not make a good lawyer or investigator. 😀


        • March 18, 2012 12:44 PM

          Don’t know about that, but you certainly make an excellent cyclist, blogger, and good-humored commenter!! : )


  8. March 17, 2012 9:41 AM

    I was a law librarian for 8 yrs. of my career.


  9. March 17, 2012 12:38 PM

    Ah wonderful Mark! You make being in court look like so much fun, I wish they’d call me up for Jury duty now…or maybe I can get myself arrested somehow??…umm….thank you for entertaining me as always. You are a very witty gentleman 🙂


    • March 17, 2012 7:50 PM

      Hmm… if you keep walking down the street with those wild painted faces, you’re gonna be arrested for disturbing the peace!!

      (Please let me know when this happens, because I think it would make an outstanding Strange Suit cartoon… : )

      Many thanks for your very kind comment, always lovely to have you and your fiercely painted eye make the scene!


  10. March 19, 2012 1:46 PM

    OMG! I had been trying to post comment here past few days but only until now I succeeded! So the moment has gone now, LOL.

    I really like this your work, Mark! I couldn’t stop laughing though my difficulty on posting comment here had put me off, LOL.



    • March 19, 2012 9:28 PM

      It’s never too late (= the moment has never gone) for me to appreciate the kindness of one of my favorite photographers!! : )

      Thank you, dear Inge. I’m very sorry you’ve had some difficulty posting comments, but you have now succeeded and put a big smile on my handsome face… : )

      Very glad the post gave you a good laugh, and thanks so much for your cheery support!!


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