What It Means If Your Baby Draws Pictures of Mark Armstrong

Babies like to draw on walls. They’re uninhibited, and they’re into spontaneity.

What’s that? Some of you don’t have a baby?

Well, order one from Amazon so we can get on with this post. I’ll wait.

(You can always return or resell it. Just remember to change the diaper first. It’s common courtesy.)

Was that a knock on the door? It’s here? You’ve got your baby? Good — let’s continue.

As I was saying, babies like to draw on walls. Floors, too. They’ll even draw on a toilet seat if someone’s done the decent thing and remembered to put it back down.

That’s why you should never leave stuff like ketchup and Cheez Whiz lying around.

Babies will eat some of it, then use the leftovers to draw. It’s almost like they’re training to be illustrators who wonder where their next meal is coming from.

Most babies draw stuff like houses and trees and cats and dogs. But what does it mean, exactly?

I checked with Dr. Harriet Diddledorf of the University of New Hampshire at East Flotsam. Dr. Diddledorf is a professor of child psychology, specializing in ankle biting, toe fetishes, toilet training, and artistic expression. She says they’re all closely related.

She says when a baby draws something, he’s charting his future, showing you his hopes and dreams, and that you damn well better pay attention and be prepared to intervene.

For example, a house might mean he’s gonna grow up to be a real estate tycoon like Donald Trump. Or maybe somebody who builds daycare centers out in Minnesota, and makes the world a better place for all of us.

Or maybe a termite inspector. Somebody who specializes in wood fraud.

If he draws trees, he might be destined to become an environmentalist like Greta what’s-her-name, the kid with the sporty keffiyeh and the crabby face.

Or maybe a hemp farmer who sells cigarette papers on the side. Or a logger, with a big bad chainsaw.

If he draws a cat, he’s probably been watching too many videos on YouTube.

However, if you have a peeping tomcat in the neighborhood, it might mean your little Picasso’s gonna grow up to be a police sketch artist.

If he draws a dog, he might be looking at a career as a college professor, tending sheep. Or maybe he’s fixing to dodge AI by pursuing a niche specialty— like removing stains and deodorizing rugs.

And of course he might just be looking ahead to school, knowing he’ll need somebody to accuse of eating his homework.

But here’s the big question: What if you catch your baby drawing pictures of illustrator Mark Armstrong??

You can relax and be proud.

All babies go through a period of hero worship. Your baby couldn’t have made a better choice. 👍💪😊

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About Mark: I’m an illustrator specializing in humor, branding, social media, and content marketing. My images are different, like your brand needs to be.

You can view my portfolio, and connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Questions? Send me an email.

Follow @mrstrongarm