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Christmas Cards They’ll Remember

December 5, 2019

Tell me you haven’t bought your Christmas cards yet.blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Please.blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

No? Good. I have some suggestions for you.blank vertical space, 24 pixels high

Let me go on record here: I hate the term “side hustle.” Meaning: something you do on the side to make money.blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

When I hear “hustle,” I think “swindle”– somebody’s trying to pull a fast one.blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

I’m not a hustler– but I do sell cards and prints in my online store, which is on the Fine Art America (FAA) platform.blank vertical space, 24 pixels high

You can buy single cards, or packs of 10 or 25.blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

The cards do not come with pre-printed inside greetings. However: you can specify (type in) any inside greeting you want.blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

FWIW: I always suggest one or more inside greetings for all my cards. Feel free to use them.blank vertical space, 24 pixels high

Here are all my Christmas cards, with suggested inside greetings listed below each. To buy a card, just click on the image.blank vertical space, 24 pixels high

1. We Three Spacemenblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

The Magi following The Star in flying saucers.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

three kings wise men heading toward Earth in flying saucers with wreaths Star is pointing down towards Bethlehem

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“Fire up your saucer and make the scene– Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Don’t forget to put a wreath on your saucer– Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“I Saw Three Ships On Christmas Day.”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“I know they traversed afar, but that’s ridiculous… Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Camels are so passé… Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Fire up your saucer and be there– Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“See you there– Merry Christmas!blank vertical space, 24 pixels high

2. Christmas Selfieblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Boy dreaming on Christmas Eve, imagines Mary taking a selfie with Jesus and Joseph at the manger.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

Boy dreaming in bed on Christmas Eve with dog snowing rosary on lamp imagining Mary taking selfie of her Joseph Jesus in manger stall

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“Smile– we have a Savior!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Smile… It’s Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Have your selfie a merry little Christmas!”blank vertical space, 24 pixels high

3. Fuzzy Diceblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Car interior, with red and green fuzzy dice hanging from rearview mirror. Dice are filled with toys like Christmas stockings.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

Christmas card car interior red green fuzzy dice attached to rearview mirror like Christmas stockings

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“Don’t forget to hang up some fuzzy dice!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Wishing you a very Fuzzy Christmas.”blank vertical space, 24 pixels high

4. Thou-Haul Trailerblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Lone Wise Man seems to be bringing more than one gift. A riff on the famous U-Haul trailers.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

single wise men on camel with Thou-Haul trailer parody of U-Haul making his way across desert toward Bethlehem at Christmas

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“Time to saddle up!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Wishing thou a great haul.”blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

5. Who Hashblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Having some fun with my favorite Dr. Seuss book and the famous television adaptation.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

cans of Who Hash from Dr. Seuss Grinch story pile of hashtags with story references Mt. Crumpet Whoville Cindy Lou Who roast beast

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“HASH yourself a Merry Little Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“It’s Christmas. Make a hash of it.”blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

6. St. Francis & The Birdsblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Birds gazing in wonder at a creche, with St. Francis smiling his approval.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

St. Francis with many birds in trees with birdfeeders on snowy day birds sitting looking at Christmas creche hanging in tree

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“St. Francis and his friends want to wish you a Merry Christmas. Me, too!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Feel the wonder. Wishing you a Blessed Christmas.”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Christmas– it’s coming! Be sure to get a good seat!!”blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

7. King Kongblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

The famous ape has snatched the Baby Jesus from a creche, and climbed to the top of a very tall Christmas tree. The Magi Air Force is trying to shoot him down in a scene that mimics the ending of the famous 1933 film with Kong on top of the Empire State Building.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

King Kong has stolen Baby Jesus out of creche by church climbed to top of huge pine tree Magi attacking him in biplanes with machine guns like famous movie

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“Three kings, good. FOUR kings, not so good. Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Wishing you a very exciting Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“… and a big ape in a fir treeeee… Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“May your joy rise to new heights– Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Merry Christmas from me, Kong, and the Magi Air Force!”blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

8. Jungle Bellsblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Tarzan, Jane, Boy, and Cheetah getting in the spirit, with a very long snake serving as a group scarf.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

Tarzan Jane Boy monkey Cheetah lined up singing Christmas carol Jungle Bells with long snake wrapped around necks like scarf

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“Hark! The Herald Primates Sing… Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“You’re being thought of this Christmas. I heard it through the grapevine.”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Me send card. You get card. That how it work. Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

9. Do You Hear What I Hear?blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Shepherd taking a coffee break in the hills outside Bethlehem. One of his sleepy charges is asking a friend if he hears music.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

shepherd tending sheep in hills outside Bethlehem angels appear singing trumpets announcing Good News Jesus birth one sheep asks another Do you hear what I hear music

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“Do you hear what I hear? Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Herald angels– they’re a noisy bunch. Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“You can’t pull the wool over MY eyes– something’s happening! Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Time to wake up and rejoice. Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

10. Desert Islandblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Guy marooned on desert island has decorated palm tree with his one Christmas ornament.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

desert island at Christmas marooned guy has hung up his one ornament on single palm tree

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“Time to get in the spirit: Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Hey, you go with what you’ve got– Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“You always do a nice job with the tree. Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Less is more. Unless we’re talking about presents, of course. Merry Christmas!blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

11. Christmas In Spokaneblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Photo-illustration of Spokane, Washington, USA, which includes the former U.S. Pavilion from the 1974 World’s Fair, reimagined as a giant Christmas tree. Nativity scene is Gerard van Honthorst’s Adoration Of The Shepherds (1622), which is in the public domain.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

Christmas card Spokane Washington cityscape scene with bridge and U.S. Pavilion from 1974 World's Fair manger scene painting Christmas tree lights

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“Merry Christmas from Spokane!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“A Blessed Christmas from Spokane.”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Christ is born in all times and places. Merry Christmas.”blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

12. We Three Sox Fansblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

The Three Kings as Red Sox fans. Inspired by the fact that many Red Sox players grew hefty beards during the 2013 season. The beards seemed to unify the team and give it extra power. They went on to win the 2013 World Series.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

Three wise men with beards wearing Red Sox baseball caps carring baseball glove bat camels likewise wearing Red Sox blankets

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“They came from the East. The American League East. Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Hang up your red sock and have a Merry Christmas.”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Have a Merry Christmas, and wait’ll next year!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“No wonder they arrived late– they went by way of Boston! Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

13. Bethlehem Mangerblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Mary and Joseph pondering extremely small manger, with signs indicating cash only, no credit cards, and that there are no amenities, but… pets are OK.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

Joseph Mary at tiny Bethlehem Manger signs cash only no heat no plumbing no bed no wi-fi pets OK

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“It all worked out for the best. Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Luckily for us, the story had a VERY happy ending. Wishing you a blessed Christmas.”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Thankfully, they made the best of it. Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“It wasn’t as cosy as it sounds. Luckily for us, they made the best of it. Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“At least they didn’t have to worry about losing their key card… Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“This was before Airbnb, of course… Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

14. Oliver Twistblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Oliver with empty bowl. The Three Kings seem to be selling their wares at a Christmas fair. Oliver hits them with his famous line from Charles Dickens’ novel, but adds a rather bad pun. (Note for purists: The actual line in the book is: “Please, sir, I want some more.”)blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

Oliver Twist with empty bowl facing three kings booths at Christmas fair selling gold frankincense myrrh asking Please, sir, can I have some myrrh?

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“Myrrhy Christmas!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“The myrrh, the merrier. Christmas, I mean.”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Let’s face it: the kid was a wiseass. Myrrhy Christmas.”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“The kid was always making bad puns– that’s why they sent him to the workhouse. Myrrhy Christmas.”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Another thing: Oliver’s favorite sport was bowling. Myrrhy Christmas.”blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

15. Animals Talkblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Four-panel cartoon. Horse waiting for his big chance to tell a joke.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

4-panel gag cartoon two horses in stall animals talk on Christmas Eve they're waiting for clock to strike midnight

blank vertical space, 32 pixels high“The animals can talk on Christmas Eve. Sometimes they talk about YOU. Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“There’s a moral there: stay outta the barn on Christmas Eve. Have a great one!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“Two cows– yeah, I heard that one– udder nonsense. Hee-haw and Merry Christmas!!”blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

“What gets said in the barn, stays in the barn. Be grateful. Merry Christmas!”blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

To see all the cards in one spot on the FAA site (including a few variations), click the image below.blank vertical space, 32 pixels high

Christmas card Fine Art America button to see entire collection on FAA siteblank vertical space, 16 pixels high

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About Mark: I’m an illustrator specializing in humor, editorial, branding, social media, and content marketing. My images are different, like your brand needs to be.blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

You can view my portfolio, and connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.blank vertical space, 16 pixels high

Questions? Send me an email.blank vertical space, 40 pixels highRecommendation testimonial for Mark Armstrong Illustration from Doug Busk, VP Communications, Emory U. former Global Group Director Social Media at Coca-Cola

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