Christmas Cards They’ll Remember
Tell me you haven’t bought your Christmas cards yet.
Please.
No? Good. I have some suggestions for you.
Let me go on record here: I hate the term “side hustle.” Meaning: something you do on the side to make money.
When I hear “hustle,” I think “swindle”– somebody’s trying to pull a fast one.
I’m not a hustler– but I do sell cards and prints in my online store, which is on the Fine Art America (FAA) platform.
You can buy single cards, or packs of 10 or 25.
The cards do not come with pre-printed inside greetings. However: you can specify (type in) any inside greeting you want.
FWIW: I always suggest one or more inside greetings for all my cards. Feel free to use them.
Here are all my Christmas cards, with suggested inside greetings listed below each. To buy a card, just click on the image.
1. We Three Spacemen
The Magi following The Star in flying saucers.
“Fire up your saucer and make the scene– Merry Christmas!”
“Don’t forget to put a wreath on your saucer– Merry Christmas!”
“I Saw Three Ships On Christmas Day.”
“I know they traversed afar, but that’s ridiculous… Merry Christmas!”
“Camels are so passé… Merry Christmas!”
“Fire up your saucer and be there– Merry Christmas!”
“See you there– Merry Christmas!
2. Christmas Selfie
Boy dreaming on Christmas Eve, imagines Mary taking a selfie with Jesus and Joseph at the manger.
“Smile– we have a Savior!!”
“Smile… It’s Christmas!!”
“Have your selfie a merry little Christmas!”
3. Fuzzy Dice
Car interior, with red and green fuzzy dice hanging from rearview mirror. Dice are filled with toys like Christmas stockings.
“Don’t forget to hang up some fuzzy dice!!”
“Wishing you a very Fuzzy Christmas.”
4. Thou-Haul Trailer
Lone Wise Man seems to be bringing more than one gift. A riff on the famous U-Haul trailers.
“Time to saddle up!!”
“Wishing thou a great haul.”
5. Who Hash
Having some fun with my favorite Dr. Seuss book and the famous television adaptation.
“HASH yourself a Merry Little Christmas!”
“It’s Christmas. Make a hash of it.”
6. St. Francis & The Birds
Birds gazing in wonder at a creche, with St. Francis smiling his approval.
“St. Francis and his friends want to wish you a Merry Christmas. Me, too!”
“Feel the wonder. Wishing you a Blessed Christmas.”
“Christmas– it’s coming! Be sure to get a good seat!!”
7. King Kong
The famous ape has snatched the Baby Jesus from a creche, and climbed to the top of a very tall Christmas tree. The Magi Air Force is trying to shoot him down in a scene that mimics the ending of the famous 1933 film with Kong on top of the Empire State Building.
“Three kings, good. FOUR kings, not so good. Merry Christmas!!”
“Wishing you a very exciting Christmas!”
“… and a big ape in a fir treeeee… Merry Christmas!!”
“May your joy rise to new heights– Merry Christmas!!”
“Merry Christmas from me, Kong, and the Magi Air Force!”
8. Jungle Bells
Tarzan, Jane, Boy, and Cheetah getting in the spirit, with a very long snake serving as a group scarf.
“Hark! The Herald Primates Sing… Merry Christmas!!”
“You’re being thought of this Christmas. I heard it through the grapevine.”
“Me send card. You get card. That how it work. Merry Christmas!”
9. Do You Hear What I Hear?
Shepherd taking a coffee break in the hills outside Bethlehem. One of his sleepy charges is asking a friend if he hears music.
“Do you hear what I hear? Merry Christmas!!”
“Herald angels– they’re a noisy bunch. Merry Christmas!”
“You can’t pull the wool over MY eyes– something’s happening! Merry Christmas!”
“Time to wake up and rejoice. Merry Christmas!”
10. Desert Island
Guy marooned on desert island has decorated palm tree with his one Christmas ornament.
“Time to get in the spirit: Merry Christmas!!”
“Hey, you go with what you’ve got– Merry Christmas!!”
“You always do a nice job with the tree. Merry Christmas!”
“Less is more. Unless we’re talking about presents, of course. Merry Christmas!
11. Christmas In Spokane
Photo-illustration of Spokane, Washington, USA, which includes the former U.S. Pavilion from the 1974 World’s Fair, reimagined as a giant Christmas tree. Nativity scene is Gerard van Honthorst’s Adoration Of The Shepherds (1622), which is in the public domain.
“Merry Christmas from Spokane!”
“A Blessed Christmas from Spokane.”
“Christ is born in all times and places. Merry Christmas.”
12. We Three Sox Fans
The Three Kings as Red Sox fans. Inspired by the fact that many Red Sox players grew hefty beards during the 2013 season. The beards seemed to unify the team and give it extra power. They went on to win the 2013 World Series.
“They came from the East. The American League East. Merry Christmas!!”
“Hang up your red sock and have a Merry Christmas.”
“Have a Merry Christmas, and wait’ll next year!!”
“No wonder they arrived late– they went by way of Boston! Merry Christmas!!”
13. Bethlehem Manger
Mary and Joseph pondering extremely small manger, with signs indicating cash only, no credit cards, and that there are no amenities, but… pets are OK.
“It all worked out for the best. Merry Christmas!!”
“Luckily for us, the story had a VERY happy ending. Wishing you a blessed Christmas.”
“Thankfully, they made the best of it. Merry Christmas!”
“It wasn’t as cosy as it sounds. Luckily for us, they made the best of it. Merry Christmas!”
“At least they didn’t have to worry about losing their key card… Merry Christmas!”
“This was before Airbnb, of course… Merry Christmas!”
14. Oliver Twist
Oliver with empty bowl. The Three Kings seem to be selling their wares at a Christmas fair. Oliver hits them with his famous line from Charles Dickens’ novel, but adds a rather bad pun. (Note for purists: The actual line in the book is: “Please, sir, I want some more.”)
“Myrrhy Christmas!”
“The myrrh, the merrier. Christmas, I mean.”
“Let’s face it: the kid was a wiseass. Myrrhy Christmas.”
“The kid was always making bad puns– that’s why they sent him to the workhouse. Myrrhy Christmas.”
“Another thing: Oliver’s favorite sport was bowling. Myrrhy Christmas.”
15. Animals Talk
Four-panel cartoon. Horse waiting for his big chance to tell a joke.
“The animals can talk on Christmas Eve. Sometimes they talk about YOU. Merry Christmas!!”
“There’s a moral there: stay outta the barn on Christmas Eve. Have a great one!”
“Two cows– yeah, I heard that one– udder nonsense. Hee-haw and Merry Christmas!!”
“What gets said in the barn, stays in the barn. Be grateful. Merry Christmas!”
To see all the cards in one spot on the FAA site (including a few variations), click the image below.
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About Mark: I’m an illustrator specializing in humor, editorial, branding, social media, and content marketing. My images are different, like your brand needs to be.
You can view my portfolio, and connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
Questions? Send me an email.
