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Royal Baby Dept: Famous Illustrator’s Shocking Post-Birth Portrait

July 30, 2013

It’s hard to believe, but there was a quick-sketch artist in the delivery room when I was born. He was able to dash off this charming portrait.

Note the interesting birthmarks. It’s as if I were destined to become an illustrator… : )illustration showing newborn baby buttocks red and discolored with bandaid patch and LOSER stencil giving off bad smell with flies buzzing around

And here’s a post-hospital picture. It appears I wasn’t entirely satisfied with mother’s milk.

OK, I’m kidding. I was a lot better looking. Well, better looking.illustration showing nasty looking baby with punk dreadlocks hairdo, skull tattoo, spike collar, flexing muscles, drinking glass of beer, wearing badly soiled diaper, and standing in puddle

The above illustrations are actually from a graphic novel I’m working on.  Thought it might be fun to trot out a preview in the wake of all the royal baby news. I guess mine looks more like a royal pain.  : (

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Are you a “royal” fan? Did you follow the drama of the new royal baby, Prince George?

In your opinion: which of the above images shows my better side? Do you think I had
a better side??

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24 Comments leave one →
  1. July 30, 2013 11:29 AM

    I guess the second illustration Mark! Can’t stop laughing old friend!


    • August 2, 2013 12:47 PM

      Ha! When my front starts getting picked as my “good” side, we know the alternative must be really ugly!!

      Thank you, Seyi, for that jolly comment, you certainly had me laughing as well!! : )


  2. SingingTuna permalink
    July 30, 2013 11:58 AM

    You must’ve been quite a handful when you were a little sprout. I esp like the little skull on that oh-so-forbidding forehead.
    LOL! Those are a riot! I’m trying to imagine that novel.

    The “royals?” Hunh. I’m back-and-forth on that one. With a last name like “King” I need to keep my options open…



    • August 2, 2013 12:56 PM

      That little skull on my forehead worked against me– it made it too easy for the principal to pick me out of a lineup… : (

      I’m trying to imagine the novel, too. It’s making my head hurt… : (

      Hey, that’s right, you’re already a King!! Prince Charles hopes to join that club, maybe when he’s 90, poor chap…

      Thanks for stopping by, Your Majesty!! ::bows, scrapes, grovels, fawns, collapses::


  3. July 30, 2013 1:02 PM

    Now, Mark, that mean-spirited quick-sketch artist misread your birthmark. Your talent as an illustrator is undeniable. Best wishes on your graphic novel.

    I have followed some of the coverage on the Royal Baby, but was not glued to the telly. I wish him and his parents well. I always loved the photos of his Mum, Princess Diana, and her boys. 🙂


    • August 2, 2013 1:09 PM

      Yes, that quick-sketch guy was a meanie. Clearly, he saw me as a threat. Thank you for clarifying matters, my dear Judy!!

      The coverage seemed excessive, but I think everyone enjoyed the royal baby. Pretty soon he’ll be eating mashed fish and chips, and sitting on a rocking horse with a mallet and wearing a little polo helmet. They grow up so fast… : )

      Thanks as always, my friend, for your kindness and support!


  4. July 30, 2013 7:11 PM

    it is obvious alright they are both pictures of an illustrator to the bone!!!
    I wonder though, could you crawl 2 days old like the royal baby? (or was it on it’s first day?!)


    • August 2, 2013 1:17 PM

      Ha, ha! Yes, my dear Marina, I fear the signs were unmistakable… : )

      The royal baby is crawling already?? Amazing! I was an early crawler myself. My mom forgot to bring me home with her from the hospital, so I had to get there on my own. I couldn’t find a taxi, so I decided to crawl. It was only 6 miles. No big deal, tho my knees were red for about two years… : P

      Always good to see you, my friend!


  5. July 30, 2013 7:41 PM

    As I said to another blogger (who writes a comedy/satire blog) when he wrote about the Royal Baby fuss: I was blasé back when Diana was marrying Charles. I know it makes me sound like a hipster, but I can’t seem to care about British royalty– no relevancy or resonance at all for me. At best, I joked, “Hey, William is balding like his dad!” and Cimmy said, “Yeah, but he’s got his mother’s good looks.” I’m sure it’s all lovely for William and Kate, and I have no ill will for them, but… flatlining on the Excite-o-Graph, y’know?


    • August 3, 2013 10:13 AM

      Royalty = The Big Yawn, eh?? Well, I think I understand the situation, Jak. You’re a man who likes real excitement, someone who seeks out the ultimate in thrills and adventure– which is why you visit this blog. Yes, yes, it makes perfect sense… : P

      Good to see you, always enjoy your input, sir– many thanks! : )


      • August 3, 2013 4:59 PM

        “The ultimate in thrills and adventure”… that sounds like a great new banner for your blog, Mark! Let everyone know your blog is a Royal Blockbuster! Maybe have some popcorn on the side…whattya think?


        • August 9, 2013 10:23 AM

          I’m tempted, Jak, but I’d worry someone might sue me for false advertising… : )

          Also, I’m not sure I could find the necessary Popcorn Downloader app… : P

          Many thanks for your very funny comment, and all your support, sir!


        • August 9, 2013 4:01 PM

          False advertising? Nah… I always enjoy your strange lawsuits posts, which are thrilling and adventurous by themselves.

          And as far as a Popcorn Downloader app? Someone will come up with something close enough, if they haven’t already.

          Hope you’re having a great day.


  6. August 2, 2013 7:50 AM

    I liked it its so much fun…


    • August 3, 2013 10:17 AM

      I’m delighted to hear that, and I appreciate your letting me know. Thank you for your visit, please come again! : )


  7. August 2, 2013 11:07 AM

    ahahaha! Oh that birthmark is amazing. I’ve never seen one quite like it. And the band-aid really complements it! You’re working on a graphic novel? That is so cool! I can’t wait to see it. I’m trying to think how these illustrations will tie into it. But I bet I can’t even guess. I eagerly await the finished Markie MacGiggle’s product!


    • August 3, 2013 10:26 AM

      I still have the band-aid. I suppose I should really get a new one sometime. Maybe next year… : P

      I’m trying to think how these illustrations are going to fit into my “novel,” too– and I’m the one who’s writing it! I can only tell you that it will be The Greatest Work Of English Literature since my seventh grade essay, A Forensic Analysis Of The Stuff I Found Between My Toes. I got an F, but I still think it was a darn good read… : P

      Speaking of great writers, always an honor to see The Famous Linda Vernon standing on my Welcome mat!! : )


      • August 3, 2013 5:39 PM

        Hahaha! I love your Graphic Comic Novel plan so far! I’m sure it will all come together in one illuminating burst of illumination, just like your seventh grade essay must have! (What a classic! I hope I will be reading it sometime soon . . . perhaps in graphic comic novel form?)


  8. August 3, 2013 1:15 PM

    Maybe you can illustrate how Baby Prince George will deal with the paparazzi.


    • August 9, 2013 10:21 AM

      Ha! I almost fell off my bicycle when I read that one, Jean!! Actually, I could see a very funny series of cartoons on that subject: Baby Prince Georgie on his trusty polo pony, dispersing terrified paparazzi with a mallet, etc. No, no, don’t get me started… : P

      As always, many thanks for pedaling by!


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