More Strange Creatures From The Lawsuit Lagoon

Time for another exciting edition of Strange Suits, sure to boost your regard for the
United States legal system.

Inside Counsel Magazine sent me descriptions of four unusual lawsuits for their monthly humor feature. I did a sketch for each, they picked the one they liked best.

The winner involved a college student named Louis Helmburg III who took a tumble at a fraternity party. Seems a drunken friend of his decided to try, um… a science experiment: shooting a bottle rocket out of his rear end.

According to the lawsuit, the blast startled Louis, causing him to fall off the deck of the fraternity house. He claims he was injured in the fall. He sued the fraternity, the property owner, his friend the rocket scientist, and the university. The latter was dismissed as a defendant on a technicality. The case is pending.

I tried to imagine a certain someone conducting this same rocket experiment in court.

One of the other suits involved a chef named Alfred Lolange. He sued his former employer, a New York City diner, for lost wages.

According to the lawsuit, the diner withheld $500 from Lolange’s first paycheck. The owner told him the money was being withheld for taxes. Lolange tried to verify this by asking to see his W-2 form, which employers are required to file with the federal government, showing tax withheld.

Instead of producing the W-2, the suit alleges the owner showed him a photo of a hand with the fingers chopped off. The owner told him: “This is what happens to people with a big mouth.”

I feel a little guilty about this cartoon. There’s nothing funny about fear and intimidation in real life. I prefer jokes where you can laugh without reservation.

Louann Giambattista is a flight attendant for American Airlines. Co-workers have accused her of smuggling pet rats onto flights.

Giambattista has sued the airline for discrimination, saying the accusations caused her to have a “perceived mental disability,” which resulted in a “hostile work environment.”

Her attorney says she did have a pet rat at one time, but denies she ever brought one to work. No rats have ever been found on any of Giambattista’s flights. She still works for the airline.

Tara Costa placed second on the television reality show The Biggest Loser back in 2009.

As a result, a company which owns a kickboxing chain hired her to be a spokesperson.
The company has sued her for allegedly gaining weight, thereby violating the fitness clause in their agreement. They claim they could not use her for personal appearances.

Costa’s lawyer says she has remained physically fit, and plans to countersue for breach
of contract. He claims that despite the alleged weight gain, the company continued to use Costa’s name and image on their website, and that they failed to compensate her for said use.

I thought of those old “your weight and fortune for a penny” scales, and came up with a new model.

And here’s the rough sketch for the bottle rocket case.

Questions for you:

Have you ever used any part of your body to launch a bottle rocket?

Have you ever smuggled a pet rat onto a plane or into a cheese shop?

Hope you’ll leave a comment.

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