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A Brief Illustrated Guide To Childhood

May 12, 2015

When it comes to social media images, it’s hard to beat the appeal of an illustrated quote. People love quotes. They can convey great truths, they can make you laugh, make you cry. If they’ve got a little picture, people want to share them. When they do, they help build your brand.


Everyone quoted Dr. Benjamin Spock when I was a kid. He was the acknowledged child-rearing expert. Today, I’m quoting two other experts. So to speak.


Robert Fulghum is a bestselling author. He gained fame with his book, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten.

Punk baby toddler with shaved head and dreadlocks, skull tattoo, spiked bulldog collar, soiled diaper, drinking beer, Robert Fulghum quote children are always watching you

Mark Armstrong received his doctorate in Pediatric Illustration from Mark Armstrong University, where he was the only student. He graduated first in his class.

Punk baby toddler with shaved head and dreadlocks, skull tattoo, spiked bulldog collar, soiled diaper, drinking beer, child will normally outgrow the terrible twos

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I worry a lot about kids being exposed to bad example these days– any thoughts?

Are you familiar with “the terrible twos“? Got any successful coping techniques you’d care to share?

Do you use orange dreadlocks to compensate for thinning hair?? (if so, please upload a photo)

Hope you’ll leave a comment.

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Other Posts You Might Enjoy:


The Shocking Truth: Whistler Had A Tiger Mother

Pass The Popcorn And Embrace Your Inner Child!

Childhood: Suddenly It’s Over And You’ve Got A Teenager

footer for all future blog posts showing picture of blog author Mark Armstrong, along with short bio and contact information


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21 Comments leave one →
  1. May 13, 2015 9:35 AM

    I suppose then, it is a credit not having outgrown the “terrible twos”!
    I worry too, my dear friend unless the environment a child is exposed to is that of Mark Armstrong’s world!!! 🙂


    • May 18, 2015 10:17 PM

      A credit… yes, I like that idea! I never managed to outgrow the terrible twos. They just became the terrible threes, the terrible fours, etc. If I’m going to remain an immature crybaby, it would be nice to get credit for it. Even naughty, spoiled little crybabies need a feeling of accomplishment…: )

      Alas, the world today is filled with bad influences. Even so, it had never occurred to me that a poor innocent child might be exposed to my work. Now I’m really worried!! I’ll have to redirect them to Mt. Olympus. I’ll say: “Look for a goddess in a paint-splattered jumpsuit– and she may be singing and wearing goggles!!” : )


  2. May 15, 2015 6:28 AM

    Fabulous and fantastically funny as always, Mark! 🙂
    As for the terrible twos, I say lock ’em all in closets ’til they’re old enough to move out. And since they’re already in the closet they can grab a jacket so they don’t catch cold when they go out – the little darlings 😉
    Happy Friday!
    annmarie 🙂


    • May 21, 2015 9:39 PM

      Lock ’em inna closets– yes!! That’s the kind of good advice that can be applied to all sorts of troublesome peeps– young and old alike!! I’m going to start implementing that policy at once, starting with my friends and relatives– and I anticipate an immediate closet shortage!! Say, maybe we could start a construction business: Closets R Us. We’ll make millions, and we’ll know it’s time to stop when we’re the only ones not locked in a closet!!

      You’re too funny, AnnMarie. No, check that– you’re just the right amount funny. And I appreciate it! : )

      Liked by 1 person

      • May 22, 2015 6:05 AM

        Love it “Closets R Us!”
        You have to create the graphics though ’cause my typography stinks. I’ll just draw a little closet-dwelling monster to keep the kiddies company 😉
        This could be the next Fortune 500 Co after we appear on Shark Tank – that is 😉
        Have a wonderful weekend. Keep those creative juices flowing, Mark!


        • May 22, 2015 8:34 AM

          Ha!! A monster in the closet would be good– we don’t want people to get bored in there. And a shark tank would be ideal for the really serious disruptives. I can see you’ve got a natural aptitude for this little social engineering enterprise!! : )

          Liked by 1 person

        • May 22, 2015 2:51 PM



  3. May 20, 2015 11:07 PM

    Reblogged this on fashion.


  4. May 24, 2015 10:50 AM

    I don’t think I grew up completely…I’m still abit messy. According to my mother. Oh well.
    Join the club!


    • May 28, 2015 9:42 PM

      Ha, ha! You mean I’m not the only one whose mother considers him a child?? I suspect we have a lot of company in that department– that’s some consolation. At least we’re riding bicycles instead of tricycles– we deserve some credit for that!! Always a pleasure, Jean, and thanks for your good-humored comment! : )


  5. Robin King permalink
    May 26, 2015 3:14 PM

    BWAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!! LOVE this! “Pediatric Illustration,” eh? 🙂
    You could easily teach a grad course in “How to be the Best Illustrator Ever,” Dr. Armstrong.
    Dr.Spock! Wow. Yes, he was around when I was a kid, too. Well, his words were. I don’t think I ever saw him on TV, so I don’t know if he was REAL. You know? 😉

    My parents used another book, though. Hilaire Belloc’s *Cautionary Verses for Children.* Do want the link? Feel free to delete it if you don’t:
    The illustrator is “B.T.B.” -maybe Basil Temple Blackwood? Anyway…I can still recite a few of those. And I never ever EVER chew on bits of string.

    Your little kid is soooo memorable! That expression! The outfit! Perfect!
    Stellar post, as always.


    • May 30, 2015 2:13 PM

      Oh, Lord! What a great comment! Grad course… Best Illustrator… Doc Armstrong… woof! My head got so big, it exploded. Now I have to go pick up all the pieces. Well, well, it’ll keep me busy and outta trouble– at least for a little while… : )

      I’m definitely leaving your wunnaful Hilaire Belloc link in, with thanks! Those cautionary tales are thoroughly outrageous and utterly fantastic!! Can you imagine any such thing being published today?? The Politically Correct and Sensitivity Police would have them banned, and poor Belloc strung up!! They only reason I wasn’t shocked by his verses is that somewhere along the line, I’d purchased an illustrated hardcover reprint of Jim, Who ran away from his Nurse, and was eaten by a Lion. I was totally knocked out by it– and I hafta believe any kid would love it!!

      Thanks for all your kind words, dear Robin. As for “the kid,” I just channeled my infancy. I’m more mature now. I’m into my second infancy… : )


  6. Lily permalink
    June 2, 2015 4:25 PM

    Mark Armstrong University? Had I known about that place, I would have applied to study there immediately!

    Yes, I worry too – actions speak louder than words, as they say. That’s why we all have to try our best at being good examples. With all of us together, we can outnumber the bad examples and win over the world! 🙂


    • June 9, 2015 8:32 AM

      My dear Lily! We’re rolling out the red carpet for you here at MAU!! It would be an honor to have you strolling our leafy campus and learned hills! If we had any leaves and hills here in Cyberland, that is… : (

      Thanks for your lovely comment. You have long been one of my favorite good-example-setters. You shine like a good deed in a weary world– if you’ll permit me to quote Willy Wonka the chocolate mogul, who stole the line from Willy Shakespeare’s The Merchant Of Venice… : )

      You are hereby awarded a Bachelorette of Arts degree in Good Role Modeling, summa cum laude, the highest degree our humble university has to offer. Congratulations, and it’s always a pleasure to see you!! : )

      Liked by 1 person

  7. soul . to . earth permalink
    June 4, 2015 2:23 PM

    Hee, hee, I guess the kid…um..brat is flexing his muscles to see what he can pull off?!

    Thanks to your post, I’m currently reading Fulghum’s AIR NT KILIK and What on Earth Have I Done?…..yay for public libraries! He writes well and in such a charming manner.


    • June 9, 2015 9:59 AM

      “The brat…” Gosh! That really takes me back. I’ve always had a knack for picking up flattering nicknames, and that was the first of many… : (

      My dear Radhika! It’s a good thing you showed up when you did. I was suffering from charm and wit withdrawal. Sounds surprising, I know, but I can’t always fulfill my own needs in those departments… : )

      I know you were a cute baby, and I can picture you striking muscle poses at family gatherings. I can almost hear your poor mother explaining to guests: “She carries all these heavy books home from the library– no wonder her muscles are so big!!”

      It took me a minute to decipher AIR NT KILIK. I see that a lot at service stations. I stop in to put air in my tires, and the pump’s always out of order… : (

      I’m sure I remember reading AIR NT KILIK, but I’ve forgotten everything, and have to rely on my native good sense, which puts me at a severe disadvantage… : (

      But since you left a comment on my blog, I feel very blessed indeed– thank you!!! : )

      Liked by 1 person

      • soul . to . earth permalink
        June 12, 2015 3:35 PM

        Ha, ha, had a ROFLMAO moment at your correct guess of my baby nature! “Something smells fishy“, my Mom was heard saying when my mussels….oops…..muscles turned literary to all brain no prawn….oops, brawn.

        You, Sir LOL, abundantly possess the ART(All Round Talent) of creating caricatures and endless mirth – I’m always happy to CAW (Charm And Wit) with you. 😀


        • June 13, 2015 1:11 PM

          Smells fishy… literary mussels… all brain, no prawn… that little barrage had me ROFLMAO. Now I look like a human lint brush. Well, not fully human, since I’m missing part of my anatomy. Lint, dust, dandruff, cookie crumbs… I should vacuum more often… : (

          Your lovely comment has me smiling and beaming like Cap’n Happy Face, the lighthouse keeper. As one flap-happy crow said to the other: Thanks for the CAW!! : )


  8. July 7, 2015 1:57 PM

    Awesome example of illustration…..


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