police lineup

One of 4 illustrations for The Rumpus post, Journalists Invade Former Soviet Union.

Synopsis: It’s 1998. A California woman, a college senior, is working as an intern at the San Diego Union-Tribune. She spots a flyer in the lobby: REPORTERS NEEDED IN FORMER USSR. She decides to embark on a great adventure.

My new employer required that I prove I had a clean criminal record in the United States and wanted me to have a police officer state as much.

“You want what?” the cop on the other end of the phone line asked. “That’s not something we can do. But good luck in Russia.”

I opted for an in-person request my second time round and after talking to several people finally was told to send them something in writing. A week or so later I received a letter back saying in effect that I had no record in their town but that I might be a mass murderer in Alabama. I got it notarized to make it look more official.